Walking On Water - a Column by Shalana Jordan

“We don’t believe that lupus is causing your medical emergency because you’re experiencing thrombocytopenia as well.” I blinked weakly at the doctor in front of me, puzzled by the news. I’d been admitted to the intensive care unit (ICU) just hours earlier and told I was dying of kidney failure.

When I opened my eyes, all I could focus on was how much they were burning. They were watering, but that provided no relief because my tears were hot. No matter which position I lay in, I was uncomfortable. My skin was crawling and my mind was racing. My thoughts…

Note: This column was updated March 17, 2025, to correct that the writer uses an antibody therapy.  I step out of the shower and face the stranger looking back at me in the mirror. My thin, brittle hair has more gray in it than before, and my scalp is riddled…

Note: This column was updated Jan. 16, 2025, to correct that Soliris is an antibody therapy. The hand on the clock ticked to the next minute. As I looked at the timepiece, my hearing seemed to become hyperfocused. Despite being surrounded by beeping machines, multiple conversations, a fire alarm, and…

Note: This column was updated Jan. 16, 2025, to correct that Soliris is an antibody therapy. “You’ll need someone present during the entire surgery, which can last three to four hours, just in case end-of-life decisions need to be made on your behalf.” I looked up from the information packet…

Note: This column was updated March 17, 2025, to correct that the writer takes an antibody therapy.  Grief is like an ocean. It’s cold and shocking when you first get in the water. Then the waves are constantly breaking and hitting you in the shallows, each one signifying sadness and…

As the garage door opens, cold air pours in, creeping into my joints and bending my limbs. I step onto the driveway and am hit with a breeze that freezes me even more. Winter is here, and it will be like this for the next few months. I’ve always loved…

I was exhausted but couldn’t sleep. My insides felt as if an angry lava monster had its hot hands gripping and squeezing all within my torso. I was in so much pain that I was shivering. But my nurse assured me that this reaction was probably normal, given the spinal…

Note: This column was updated March 17, 2025, to correct that the writing is taking an antibody therapy. It all started with me collapsing onto the hard, cool concrete outside of an emergency room (ER), as I was too weak to step up 4 inches onto the sidewalk. I know…

My eyes scanned the makeshift ramp that volunteers had made from a section of collapsed roof. I was hesitant to climb it to get into the trailer, which had a floor more than 4 feet above the ground. “At least the shingles will give my shoes a good grip,” I…